Why Your Body-Budget Matters to the Quality of Your Ministry (or, What Neuroscience Has to Say about Clergy Self-Care) – Transcript
Jim Latimer
Welcome to Coaching for Interims. We are about empowerment for interim ministers, best practices and quick help from interims for interims – wisdom from the field. I am your host Reverend Jim Latimer. Today we have the pleasure of having with us, Reverend Arlen Vernava. Arlen has a remarkable background. He and I don’t know each other well. Actually, we’ve just come to meet each other through this opportunity here. But his resume and all in a lot of areas is impressive. He’s a long-time Interim Ministry Network faculty member, an executive coach, a Professional Transition Specialist, which to those of us in the interim world, Professional Transition Specialist means you’ve got some extra stuff in there to be able to use that specific title or credential. He’s also a process consultant in the secular world, which is fabulous. That could be a whole other conversation. But, as he and I were preparing for this, he was speaking about one of his concepts – Body Budget for pastors. And in particular, keeping the Body Budget in balance. I haven’t heard that notion before. So, I invited him to speak about it. Arlen, if you could say more about that, and why that matters for interim ministers, we’d love to hear it.
Arlen Vernava
Thank you, Jim. It’s very sweet to be together with you. And hello, everybody out there in our podcast world. Happy Day to you. So, the Body Budget is something that I first was introduced to when I did a continuing ed piece with the Neuroscience School founded by Irena O’Brien, PhD, neuroscientist, in Montreal, Canada. As part of that class, she was referencing a neuroscientist whose name is Lisa Feldman Barrett. So, Body Budget is a way that neuroscientists are beginning to talk about what the brain’s purpose is for us.
The brain keeps our body alive. It keeps us well. It keeps us surviving. That’s its main purpose. That’s its reason for being. And it does it by modulating all of the stuff that our body needs to be efficient and effective in our world. We need three things all of the time for that to take place. We need enough good nutrition. We need enough good sleep. And we need enough good exercise. And when we don’t have those three things, when those three things are out of balance, then our brain is in deficit. And so, the Body Budget is pictured a little bit like a bank account. When we are talking and listening and paying attention to one another. When we’re doing anything at all, our body is taking these withdrawals. And these withdrawals are necessary because they energize us into our world – into the moment. And if we don’t make a deposit of enough sleep, enough nutrition and enough exercise, we are in deficit. And if we’re in deficit, our brain really can’t function at its best.
So, I got thinking about that in terms of ministry in general and interim ministry specifically. What is it like for instance, to go from, let’s say, a long day, where I have meetings all day long. And then a meeting in the evening, and I’ll decide that I’m going to eat supper after the meeting. So, I’ll eat supper at nine o’clock, rather than at six. So, I am walking into that meeting, feeling like I am fine. But my body is actually in a little bit of a deficit. And I’m not going to be at my best in that setting. I just can’t be at my best in that setting. I think I am. But I’m not. So, something happens in that meeting and I get a little crazy making. And that’s why, because I’m hungry even if I don’t feel hungry because I’m used to waiting until later in the evening. You get the idea. It’s about self-care at the most basic level. So, I’m wondering also about this: if this is true for any one of us, what happens when a group of leaders joins a meeting after a day of work. And their Body Budget is not in balance.
Jim Latimer
Collectively their Body Budget is off as a group. Wow.
Arlen Vernava
Collectively their Body Budget is off as a group. Right. Individually, some of them have a balanced budget, so to speak, and others not. But collectively, because some are out of balance, and others are in balance, that’s an out of balance group. So, now they’re grappling with stuff that’s of real value, and they’re having conversations, and they’re trying to listen carefully, and they’re trying to speak wisely. And yet, the group overall is a little bit out of balance.
So, walking into a meeting without enough good rest, or good nutrition, or good exercise, has some significant consequences for the ministry and mission that we are facilitating, walking alongside and engaging. It might become, I don’t know a little bit like a predicate or the prelude that is needed just to begin to do the work that a congregation or a faith community, or leaders want to begin to accomplish.
It’s not about somebody who is stubborn, or hard headed, or aloof or disengaged, as if all of those judgments have something to do with, Well, they’re making the choice. They’re just choosing to be stubborn. Or they’re choosing to stay disengaged. Or they’re never serious. Or they’re too serious. Maybe if this brain science is spot on, and it seems like it is, then maybe the source is quite simply organic and biological at first.
Jim Latimer
Wow, that’s great! I love how you’re anchoring a daily experience of anybody. Right? And connecting what the neuroscience has to say about how powerfully we can show up in an interaction – whether it’s as a person or as a group. And I appreciate your saying that sometimes we think we’re showing up fully, but if we haven’t had adequate sleep, nutritious food and exercise, in fact, we aren’t. But we think we are. But we’re not. And that can show up in the outcome or the interaction of that. I think I got that right. Sometimes our brains fool ourselves, right?
Arlen Vernava
Sure.
Jim Latimer
So, what happens? I’m sure every interim minister, every pastor has had this: we know we’re at a deficit – a body deficit, but there’s something that we got to do. So, we’re going in compromised a little bit. What advice would you have for them? What counsel would you have for that person?
Arlen Vernava
We’re all such uniquely different temperaments. So, practice. Practice giving yourself permission to take a break between meetings. Even if that’s a five-minute break, and it’s a 10-minute cat nap. And it’s a bag of granola. And it’s a walk around the block. But give yourself permission to take breaks throughout the day. Give yourself permission to calendar an hour and a half which is your time. And then listen to your body. What does it need? A nap is a great thing. I’ve not always been a napper, but sometimes I have been, and I’m starting to reclaim napping as a great thing to do for a few minutes. And a 10-minute nap, neuroscientists say, is just about optimal. It’s not too much because we don’t end up too lethargic after we wake up. And it’s not too little. So, a 10-minute nap. Which means you want to give yourself 15 minutes, because you got to get ready for your nap. You got to settle in. You got to rest. You got to wake up. Give yourself permission to take a break and to do what you need to do to replenish your Body Budget. It’s surprising that five or 10 minutes will make all the difference in the world.
Jim Latimer
That’s great. So, be gentle with yourself. It’s not about perfection. This notion of a Body Budget is real. It is based in science. Naps. Scheduling some my-time. Take a break. Walk around the block – fresh air, whatever. And there’s another piece, with your permission I would just add, is that sometimes when I’m alert to this, and I’m alert to the fact that I’m not so alert, right? And I’m coming into a meeting with a person or group, I’ll let them know that. I’ll simply tell them: Everybody, I’m kind of tired right now. I’m not making an excuse, but just want to let you know that if I’m not showing up in my full game, that’s why. I’ll do the best I can. Just letting people know where I am at the moment. Do you ever do that? Or is that being self-serving?
Arlen Vernava
I have. Hey, yeah. There’s a little bit of self-awareness that way. And yes, why not give folks a heads up? A little self-disclosure, a little vulnerability, because that’s what it’s all about really, isn’t it? That’s sweet. And one quick teaser about all of this. Body Budget I think is also a metaphor. So, a congregation as a whole has a Body Budget. It’s not just a biological one. Let’s call it a spiritual and emotional one. So, if your relationship with God, as a community of faith or as leaders, is not solid and engaged, if your relationship with yourself and that sense of reverence and kindness to yourself, is not well and engaged, and your relationship with others is not well and engaged, then your community of faith Body Budget is out of balance.
Jim Latimer
Nice. That’s a really rich place, I think, to end this particular Bit of Wisdom: the Body Budget applies at the congregational level, congregational life too. Arlen, you’ve given us lots to think about. That’s a really helpful metaphor – the Body Budget. Thank you so much for being with us – your generosity of your time and spirit.
Arlen Vernava
You’re sure welcome. Thank you so much, Jim.