How I get Started With a New Congregation: Priorities for the First Day, Week, Month – Transcript

Jim Latimer: Welcome to Coaching for Interims. We are about empowerment for interim ministers: best practices and quick help from interims for interims – wisdom from the field. My name is Jim Latimer and it’s my honor and joy to have with me today Reverend Dr. Jill Small. Jill is a seasoned interim, and as of this conversation, she’s in her sixth interim role, or sixth interim congregation. I asked Jill to speak about getting started – when you enter into a new congregation as an interim Minister, how do you spend your first day, first week, your first month – priorities and activities? Jill, I’d love it if you would share some of that for you.

Jill: Thanks Jim. I’d be happy to give a little insight into what I do. It’s just what I do. I wouldn’t say everybody should or could do this. Well, when you first get somewhere, there’s going to be some unpacking. That’s literal and figurative. You have boxes and boxes and stuff, and setting yourself up in a space. I like conversations about space. That’s part of your thing – getting into a space. So you need to feel that your space is your space. I always put my – this is probably a little weird – I always put my books in the same order. I always do the Old Testament stuff first. I always do it a certain way. It makes me feel more at home, because it becomes familiar to me. I see them the same way I’ve seen them in other places, and that makes me feel comfortable. So some of that is physical unpacking, in the first day, first week, kind of stuff.

The other thing that I think is really important early on is to make friends with the gatekeeper. And that is usually the person who answers the phone, or is the first person people see. It might be the church Secretary. If you’re in a big congregation might be an Executive Secretary who works actually for you. It depends on the size of that congregational, or the administrator. But make friends with that person. I have found a really simple and good way to do that: If that person has photos of his or her family around the office, ask who those people are, who’s in the pictures. It opens a door. It’s non threatening. You’re not grilling the individual about what do you need, what do I need to know, you’re just making a connection. Making friends with the gatekeeper early on is very important.

The flip side of that is beware of the first person who comes to your door to welcome you, because my experience has been that person has a reason for wanting to be first in line. This may not be in every circumstance, but, honestly, I think, just to have a little awareness that if a person comes right off the bat and says, “I want to talk to you about…” That can seem like a really generous thing to do. But I’d be a little circumspect about if there is another agenda. That may make me seem jaded, but I will tell you that has been the case, more than once. I would beware the the first visitor or the first invitation.

So that’s kind of the first day, first week, sort of things. And the first sermon I like to do something about getting to know you. When I was in high school, the high school I attended had a very large choir. We did a musical production every year, and one of the things we did one year was “The King and I.” So I use the song “Getting to Know You,” in the sermon. And I have done that in more than one congregation when I want to spend my first sermon getting to know you – getting to know all about you. It kind of breaks the ice. I really am here. I want to get to know you. And then in that first month, I try to go to as many meetings as I can stand to attend. You build some capital in terms of face time.

And in a meeting in that first month with a leadership group, whether it’s your church Council, Leadership Council, whatever they call themselves, I always ask, “How soon, do you want me to tell you what I see?” What kind of feedback do you want? Some churches will say, “Tell us everything you’re observing all at once,” and some will say, “That might be overwhelming just give it to us in bites.” I like them to have an opportunity to say, “This is the rate at which we think we want to engage what are our high points, what do you see are the things we’re going to need to unpack in the figurative sense?” And so far that has seemed to be well received. I think people are happy to be respected by asking, “Who are these people in your photos?” and “How fast do you want to see what I see?” and “I’m really trying to get to know you.” So far that’s worked reasonably well for me.

Jim Latimer: That’s beautiful. I love how that builds in ownership by asking how they would like to receive feedback, and let them tell you. Rather than pushing it on them, they’re pulling it and drawing it out from you. When that happens they’re much more likely to actually take it in.

Jill: It begins a conversation.

Jim Latimer: It’s a conversation that you get started right at the very beginning. I love the touch on relationship, pictures – people love to talk about themselves. You notice it. You honor it. Nice. Thank you, Jill, it’s a joy to be with you again, thank you for sharing your wisdom.

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