24 min 13 s
The trust vs. mistrust stage of pastoral ministry
A new pastor arrives in the middle of the “movie” of a congregation’s life
Avoid triangulation, not conflict;
Interim time can allow the congregation to catch its breath;
During the interim time does the congregation primarily need healing or helping?
Giving authority without responsibility invites the church monster to rear its head;
12 min 09 s
We carry conflict in our bodies;
Intergenerational conflict;
The Ladder of Interence;
By changing yourself, you can actually help change others – it’s contagious;
11 min 38 s
What gets missed when decisions are made quickly;
Benefits of the “How might?” question;
Framing a question for maximum engagement;
By changing yourself, you can actually help change others – it’s contagious;
We carry conflict in our bodies;
Make complexity your friend;
16 min 58 s
It’s about more than boundaries…
Having a pastoral conversation about moving on – framing the conversation as about their own life and ministry;
Who are you now? Who do you need to be? How are you going to be in a way that serves the church, and this next pastor?
Helping them to relate to the congregation in a new way and have a new story;
And about grief – about letting go of the host of emotions that get tangled up in us when we’ve served a beloved community for a long period of time.
12min 41 s
As pastor, does it sometimes feel like everyone in the congregation is your boss? Are you struggling to get back more time for yourself and feeling pretty exhausted? If so, you are not alone. Listen here as Rev. Anna Tew tells how she recovered from such a place by using the flexibility of pastoral ministry to her advantage.
24 min 45 s
Rev. Bixby highlights numerous examples of the benefits of the settled pastor having some thoughtful conversations with the interim minister(s) who preceeded them;
The features of a Crucial Conversation;
Bixby shares several specific examples of things from the interim time that have benefited his settled ministry that followed;
The Crucial Conversation framework as a mechanism for congregational discernment / decision making;
During the interim time does the congregation primarily need healing or helping?
19 min 45 s
Shifting the congregation’s culture from one where conflict is worked through from a place of love, rather than from anger or power;
The pastor must lead by example, modelling healthy communication skills;
Alisa leads us through a personal example of addressing bullying behavior;
Alisa acknowledged that her experience may not be applicable to congregations with more severe relationship tensions and encouraged caution in applying her methods;
She highlights the need for immediate feedback when issues arise to help others understand the impact of their words and actions.
